Fascinating post. I've felt quite angry about your dad, especially that boyhood erection thing, but I do remember how loving and supportive he was when he came to Canada to help you out. Certainly more complex a character than my offhand comment acknowledged.
When you are in the Motrix and feel that you can and should and must stay there, then there MUST be something wrong with those who leave, and you can't help looking for those reasons--or at least I can't, and I'm sure others in the Motrix can't either, or they're not really in the Motrix, are they. The only other alternative is that there must be something wrong with Mormonism, if it can't live up to all its claims and premises--which it doesn't, if someone can legitimately leave it.
So yeah, that's my impulse--there must be some underlying human flaw in those who leave. A bad dad's one of the better "excuses" I can imagine--or at least, one that I imagine could have helped lead me permanently out, personally. Obviously I can't and shouldn't pretend to know enough about yours or anyone else's situation to judge, which is something I need to be more careful about. But when one's story is publicly published online in any form, I tend to think it's fair game to at least try to think about it and figure it out, even if it becomes more of an academic exercise than an authentic reflection on the actual person under examination, and even if onlookers are repulsed by the stench of the Motrix outlook.
So I'm shutting off RSS on you too then, Jana. Ah, the humanity. Your fabulous flower pictures don't come through my workplace's new filter anyway... I especially liked the ones with the semi-hidden bugs on 'em.
Wow
When you are in the Motrix and feel that you can and should and must stay there, then there MUST be something wrong with those who leave, and you can't help looking for those reasons--or at least I can't, and I'm sure others in the Motrix can't either, or they're not really in the Motrix, are they. The only other alternative is that there must be something wrong with Mormonism, if it can't live up to all its claims and premises--which it doesn't, if someone can legitimately leave it.
So yeah, that's my impulse--there must be some underlying human flaw in those who leave. A bad dad's one of the better "excuses" I can imagine--or at least, one that I imagine could have helped lead me permanently out, personally. Obviously I can't and shouldn't pretend to know enough about yours or anyone else's situation to judge, which is something I need to be more careful about. But when one's story is publicly published online in any form, I tend to think it's fair game to at least try to think about it and figure it out, even if it becomes more of an academic exercise than an authentic reflection on the actual person under examination, and even if onlookers are repulsed by the stench of the Motrix outlook.
So I'm shutting off RSS on you too then, Jana. Ah, the humanity. Your fabulous flower pictures don't come through my workplace's new filter anyway... I especially liked the ones with the semi-hidden bugs on 'em.